


Throwing Mashed Potatoes At Homophobes Is For The Greater Good

by ElephantCactus



Category: All Time Low (Band), Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insanity, Presidents, Rebellion, What Have I Done, alternative universe, chaotic (it's just chaos), everyone is happy, everyone needs a bit of anarchy, friends help each other overthrow the government, pure insanity and chaotic energy, what the fuck is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27477604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElephantCactus/pseuds/ElephantCactus
Summary: What would probably happen if Awsten and Alex decided to take over the government in 2020 (wish they did).© 2020 ElephantCactus. All rights reserved.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Throwing Mashed Potatoes At Homophobes Is For The Greater Good

**Author's Note:**

> So i saw a random tweet about how Awsten and Alex should run for president and uhh…this happened. I wrote this right after I took melatonin and decided to try to fight it (spoiler: I lost). Sorry in advance, I was half asleep but oh well I think it turned out pretty well. This is why sleeping is good.
> 
> oh and holy crap, taking melatonin gives you some really weird dreams. I'm scared of my own subconsciousness.

It was a normal day in the White House. 

Actually, no it wasn’t. It was in fact far from normal. Neither of the two people seated in the Oval Office was supposed to be there, but neither of them cared. Both of them looked quite out of place, with their ripped black skinny jeans and band t-shirts, and in Awsten’s case, obnoxiously dyed bright green hair. But it wasn’t like anyone would have tried to kick them out; these two were the best of any of the options that the country had (and that’s saying something). 

“Awsten—I mean President Knight—I mean your royal highness?” The poor peasant—sorry, messenger, knelt in front of the overturned desk, before the freshly repainted flag, (the face on which seemed to hold a strong resemblance to Awsten himself), in front of the two newly elected presidents. President might not have been the right word for it, but king sounded a bit too grandiose and presumptuous to Awsten. Maybe Emperor. Yes, he could envision himself as an Emperor. Emperor Knight. That had a nice ring to it.  
“Yes?” Awsten lowered his sunglasses from where he was leaning back in the chair, sipping a margarita (nonalcoholic of course), his mud-covered sneakers resting on a pile of paperwork that he was definitely not going to do.  
“Your royal highness?” Alex scoffed from where he was doodling on the side of a file, the words IMPORTANT, CLASSIFIED printed across the top in big red letters. “Isn’t that a bit much?”  
Okay, maybe the Emperor idea was a bit too far fetched, especially if Alex was going to go along with it.  
“Shush,” Awsten whispered. “Just go with it.” He turned back to the messenger. “Yes?”  
“Your highness, someone was saying how gay people should die.”  
“Well, off with his head then,” Awsten replied with a careless flick of his hand.  
“We can’t do that,” Alex protested. “Beheading is a British thing. We should like throw them in jail or fine them or talk to them. Not kill them cause we can’t do that. Wait—can we?”  
Awsten shrugged. “You’re British. Besides, we’re not even 35. Not to mention the fact that we broke all the rules to get here. And it’s not like we even got elected in the first place.”  
“Good point,” Alex mused. “Well then, let’s do it.”

“How did you two manage to do this?” Rian asked, shaking his head. He was standing to the side, watching the entire interaction, a bemused expression on his face.  
“I’m going to pretend this isn’t happening,” Zack muttered. “These two? Really?”  
“It’s quite amusing though,” Rian pointed out.  
“Until they destroy everything.”  
“You guys took over the government and you didn’t invite me?” Jack asked.  
“Sorry,” Alex responded, spinning around in the chair. “There wasn’t enough time. It was a bit on short notice. Anyway, you were crowned president of pop punk so I get this title.” Yes, he might have still been a tad bit salty about that. But that didn’t matter now. 

On the other side of the room, the pair of double doors flew open. “Love what you’ve done with the place,” Geoff commented as he walked in. He stepped over a pile of shattered porcelain, probably from a broken vase.  
“Nothing like the smell of rebellion,” Alex sighed.  
“And gasoline,” Otto said, wrinkling his nose. “What did you even do? Commit arson?”  
“And a lot of other crimes,” Rian coughed not very subtly. Alex gave him the side eye but didn’t comment.  
“That doesn’t matter. The real question is what shall we do?” Awsten asked eagerly. His eyes lit up with excitement as he jumped up on his chair, throwing his arms out for balance as he almost fell.  
“Maybe not destroy anything?” Otto suggested, watching Awsten’s progress as Awsten climbed onto the messy desk.  
“Nah, we can’t do worse than what just happened in the last four years,” Alex scoffed.  
“Let’s pour sprinkles from the ceiling,” Awsten suggested, clapping his hands together. “Or throw mashed potatoes at homophobes.”  
“That sounds like fun,” Jack said. “We could also pour syrup on racists.”  
“That’s gonna take a lot of syrup,” Rian commented. “And sprinkles and mashed potatoes. What’s with all the food anyway?”  
Awsten shrugged. “Well, I’m hungry. Is there anything to eat here? I’m starving.”  
“Maybe do something less detrimental?” Zack asked. “Something for the greater good perhaps?”  
“Throwing mashed potatoes at homophobes is for the greater good,” Awsten muttered. “But I digress.”  
“Let’s fix the world,” Geoff suggested mildly. “Make it so everyone is happy.”  
“Done,” Alex grinned. 

Then everything was good and everyone lived in equality.

The End.


End file.
